positivity

How to Stop being a People Pleaser

If you are like me, you know how difficult it is to do things you want to do rather than what others want you to do. I like to please people, which sometimes can be a nice kind-hearted gesture but more often that not, it allows people to take advantage of you.

  • Recognise that you have choices. Usually people-pleasers feel as if they don’t have a choice, and they have to say yes when someone asks for their help. However, you DO have a choice. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to put yourself first. If you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to say yes just because they asked you.
  • Decide on your priorities. If you already have commitments or you have set priorities then it’s easy to say no as you’ve a genuine “excuse”. Do what matters most to you. You can cancel with the other person if that is what you want, but you don’t have to!
  • Don’t be afraid to add conditions to your yeses. For example, say that you’ll only say yes if someone else says yes as well – or only take on a new task for a set period of time. I personally always do this, especially if the person on the condition will FOR SURE say no. It kind of an easy way out of saying nope.
  • Don’t defend you decision. You have a right to say no – and to NOT defend yourself. It’s your life after all – you don’t have to explain why you don’t want to do something or come up with excuses as to why you cannot do the certain thing. You also don’t need to apologise for your decision. You shouldn’t feel sorry for wanting to say no to someone.

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