positivity

How to Stay Friends with an Ex ?

Now, I’m not the best person to talk about this. I am friends with an ex of mine but it took SUCH A LONG TIME. Honestly, we broke up in September 2015 and we’ve only recently got speaking on a friendly basis. We spoke around January 2016 very briefly but that was it.

Lemme tell you, it wasn’t a healthy break up at all. We were dating for almost two years and at the 18 month mark, he just didn’t seem interested anymore but he didn’t want to break it off. He fucked me around because every time I wanted to leave, he gave me reasons to stay which is beyond me, as he really didn’t want to stick around. I managed to break up with him around September and we didn’t really speak for a long ass time until around, I’d say, June/July 2016.

He was a complete knob I know, but he was my best friend. Now, a long long time down the line, he is my best friend again. IDK how I made it work because believe me, I really didn’t want to speak to him ever again after how he treated me but here we are!!..

My first tip is to make sure you really do want a platonic relationship. It’s not an easy decision to make but you really really do need to make it. If you don’t and you start chatting again, you may develop feelings and what not. Be clear from the start of the new found friendship that you are only that, a friend. If the idea of your ex dating someone else, makes you upset/angry etc then you are for sure not ready.

Make non-romantic plans. Don’t go out with each other to places you used to go out on dates to. That will only make things worse as you will be reminded of the dates and that’s not good is it? I would recommend meeting during the daytime at coffee shops or whatever. Just anywhere you haven’t been on a date would be ideal. Also, meet in a public place. Don’t go around each others house because things may get intimate, especially if you have not long broke up because your brain will probably still think you’re together.

However, do recognise that not all ex partners are friend material. Now, I have exes that I definitely will not contact to be pals. Some are just not worth being friends with, whether it be; they were complete dickheads or if you just know you’re going to reopen a wound. Exes don’t necessarily have to be friends so don’t worry if your ex is not that. After all, they are your ex for some reason or another so maybe it’s best to let it stay that way.

But do let them know you still care about them. The worst thing you can do is just pretend nothing happened. Pretending that the break up didn’t happen will give the impression that you didn’t care and that may hurt them. You can have still care about your ex without there being any kind of romance.

I hope this helped. It probably didn’t because I don’t really know what to talk about in this. I have no idea personally how me and my ex became friends, it just happened. I tried to think about the obvious steps we took in our friendship so this is what I wrote about. Anyway, I hope you are well and please don’t rush into any kind of friendship if you are not ready.

exit

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