positivity

Going to London on My Own / Huge Anxiety Battle Won ?!?

If you follow me on any social media, you’ll know that recently (31st May) that I travelled to London on my own to meet All Time Low, who happen to be my favourite band ever. It was challenging but I did it and I’m so proud of me for how smoothly it went.

It started with my dad dropping me off at my local train station so I could catch my train to Birmingham. I wasn’t really scared for this journey as I’ve done it a handful of times to meet friends in Birmingham, so to me, that was a piece of cake! It was a relaxing journey, hardly anyone on the train type of thing.

Once I reached Birmingham, I had around an hour to kill before my train to London Euston (that’s what I assumed). When I got to New Street station, I noticed that my train was cancelled and the nearest one was at 12:33 (instead of 13:04) and the only other one was at around 15:00 so I did not want to wait that long. I quickly grabbed my drink from Pret and then walked ran to my train.

Let me tell you, I’ve never been on a quieter train. Both in the sense of silence and it being super calm. I liked it. I read my book, which was The Iliad, and listened to some music that was a mixture of All Time Low and all things great.. (playlist here) and I relaxed.

Just after 14:00, I got to London Euston, the last stop, and I had to venture out into the London streets alone – scary stuff! This is the weird part, I wasn’t scared or anxious for the train journey as such, it was more the walking around London, locating my way around alone that got my heart pounding.

I decided to walk to Planet Organic first and foremost because I wanted some food. I looked around this shop for a while because it was HUGE and last time I visited London, I only walked around the first half of the shop! I picked up some black rice, avocado and mint sushi (THAT I ATE ONCE I GOT HOME AND LEMME TELL YOU, IT WAS THE BEST SUSHI I’VE EVER TASTED) and a block of raw salted caramel chocolate, which is also the best chocolate I’ve ever tasted.

Whilst I was there, there was no queue so I started one and then a couple minutes later, this older man started his own and when the lady at the checkout said ‘NEXT’, he went to go. And I was completely going to let him because I’m anxious as hell in those type of situations but the lady said something like, “excuse me, the women was first”. The man got incredibly annoyed and chucked all of this items on the start, saying that he refused to buy it which freaked me out a little because he was getting SO angry. But anyway, I bought my things and left the shop to begin my walk to Oxford Street.

Again, this was so calm. I took my time because I knew that walking long distance makes my leg muscles ache so much (hashtag weak muscle problems). As I said previously, I was nervous about walking through London more so than anything else going on today, but the walk was surprisingly calm too. I have no clue whether it was because of the time of day it was or whether it was just my anxiety not ruining things for once, but I didn’t feel nervous at one point of that walk. I had no clue where I was going because I don’t really know my way around but it was so nice. I was scared that I was going to be the only person alone and everyone was going to notice and realise how nervous I was but clearly that was never going to happen.

I got to Oxford Street and originally, had no clue where HMV was. hahhaa. I panicked because I thought I was going to be in the wrong place and not be able to meet All Time Low and then end up sad for life (a clear exaggeration) but nope after the mass amounts of buses left the road, it was there. Right in front of me. I clocked the queue and it wasn’t that big so I decided to shop in HMV before I joined it.

Big mistake. I bought my Straight to DVD II record and went back to join the queue, and it was so much bigger. Not a lot, I’d say like twenty additional people? So I decided to join. Around this time it was probably 16:00 and the event started at 18:00 so I had some waiting to do that I wasn’t looking forward to at all but I knew that the waiting would come to some benefit as I’d be meeting All Time Low for the second time.

At around 16:45, they started moving us in because we were taking up A LOT of the footpath on the street. If you have ever been to Oxford Street, you know that 101% of that footpath is needed for the many shoppers. Whilst we were waiting in the HMV shop, they were playing some All Time Low bops which I enjoyed but I didn’t react as I was on my own and that made me uncomfortable. Anyway, they played songs like; Remembering Sunday, Kids in the Dark and Circles. So ya know, a right mixture.

The time came to 17:30/40 and they had to begin moving us into the room where All Time Low were going to be and obviously, there was going to be 400 fans to get through so they had to quickly get everyone off the streets into the store. I think it was at this point where I started feeling nervous because my favourites were going to be in the very same room as me in a couple minutes.

And then the time came. It was 18:00. They were actually on time that is such a shocker if you know All Time Low (I’m semi joking lol). I don’t remember much of what happened until I got to the front of the queue but it was great.

Jack was first and I gave him my letter that I wrote for them and he said, “thank you sweet” which was my favourite thing. Last time I met him, he called me lovely and it was the BEST THING!! He thanked me for the letter and said he will read it within the next few days once the super busy important stuff for their new album is over and that makes me happy. I spoke to him about the shirt I was wearing which was his free the nipple shirt that he brought out a few years ago and he was shocked that someone actually wears it hahaha.

Next was Rian, he was quiet but he asked how I was and how I got here because he remembered me from another meet and greet thing on their tour in March. He was surprised that someone came all the way from Birmingham to London just for them which is funny because I know a few people came from a further distance.

Alex was next and he was singing along to The Pretender by Foo Fighters. Full on belting the lyrics as he was signing my card and I said to him, “that’s a nice singing voice you have there mate” and he laughed and replied, “yeah I know right.. should make a career out of it”.

Finally was Zack. Zack was a sweetie, he thanked me for coming and asked what my favourite song was so far off the new album and of course I said Nice2KnoU because damn that’s my bop.

That was the end. I left HMV and walked back to the train station. I was so happy, I’m pretty sure I smiled the entire way to the station because I met them. Again.

My train back was a lot busier. It took me a while to find a seat. Then a lady with a baby came and sat next to me and their baby would. not. stop. crying. I know it was neither of their faults but I had a headache and was tired. I wanted to nap.

But I got home… eventually. And ate my sushi and went to sleep.

It was a good day.

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